A brief editorial comment: While I wrote most of this blog post on April 29th, the following day there was an interview with Michael J. Fox on CBS Sunday Morning. One of the last things he said in the interview seemed to fit perfectly with this post on happiness: With gratitude, optimism is sustainable. And so…here we go:
“With Gratitude, Optimism is Sustainable”
May 1, 2023
This blog is typically very directly about education, leadership, PLC practices, and teamwork (with the added “Rib Review” bonus, of course!). But this month I thought I’d veer off and go a little more broad. I’ve been thinking about happiness a lot lately–what is it? How do you “acquire” it? What helps sustain it? My own relationship with it. And more.
And, as a disclaimer, I am NOT a mental health expert. If you are experiencing symptoms of mental illness, please, please, please contact a local expert to assist you. You matter, so get assistance. Please.
These are simply my own musings on a topic of interest regarding happiness and how to increase it. It is not meant to be a prescription for depression or other disorders.
Resources
It turns out that happiness resources abound! The New York Times has a guide on “How to be Happy.” Martin E.P. Seligman (evidently “the most influential living psychologist”) from the University of Pennsylvania has an entire website, authentichappiness.org devoted to it–complete with books, videos, papers, questionairres, and more. Yale University has an entirely free online course, “The Science of Well-Being” that is THE most popular online course they have ever offered.
I guess there’s a lot we can learn about being happy…
A few highlights have jumped out at me as I’ve thought about and made initial steps to learn more about happiness:
1) What You Think About Matters
The stories that we tell ourselves greatly advance or inhibit our happiness. What goes on in our minds, our self-talk, directly influences our state.
Because happiness is an internal condition that is compounded by internal conversations–positive or negative–we can influence our happiness through what we think about.
Gratitude, in particular, plays a really important role in improving happiness. Taking the time, every day, to ponder and write down what we are grateful for, increases happiness. Telling others of that gratitude, whether for them or just general appreciation, also impacts our wellbeing.
And expressing your thoughts and gratitude through service increases our happiness. When we serve others, we get out of our own heads. It gets us thinking about the needs of others, and, in some situations, better appreciating our own circumstances.
Service can be an outward expression of gratitude–whether we intend it to be that way or not.
2) Environment Matters
It’s an odd apparent dichotomy.
While happiness is in our heads, our environments matter. Who we hang with. How much time we spend in fresh air. The amount of physical movement we get. The food we eat. The level of cleanliness in our home or room. The quality and quantity of our sleep. The relationships that we have with people.
All of this matters, and, while it doesn’t control our happiness, it definitely has an influence.
In other words, physical wellbeing influences our mental wellbeing.
3) Choice Matters
Every day, we have thousands of choices that we get to make. One of those choices is between being miserable and being joyous. A friend of mine says, “both take the same amount of energy. So I choose joy.”
While possibly simplistic in nature, it seems that when I make an active choice to be happy, I am happier. And when I make an active choice to be a grumpy-gus, well…you know what happens.
For most of us (again, please see the disclaimer above), we can make an active choice and influence our happiness.
In Practice
Happiness: a well-studied concept that we have likely barely scratched the surface in trying to understand.
As I write this, 37,000 feet above the Rockies, I’m grateful for educators raising the next generation of doctors, lawyers, plumbers, electricians, teachers, secretaries, and more. I’m grateful for the mindset of an ever-advancing civilization. And I’m grateful for the technology that allows us to do this important work.
May your May bring you great happiness full of gratitude, service, healthy living, and positive choices. As Michael J. Fox succinctly put it, “With gratitude, optimism is sustainable.”
Questions for Reflection:
- Can we be happy all or even most of the time?
- Is it just as good or better to be content? And what’s the difference between happiness and contentment?
- Is a meaningful life a happy life?
- What practices might you adopt to increase your own happiness and wellbeing?
- Who and how can you serve in the next day or so?
“[H]appiness isn’t something that just happens to you. Everyone has the power to make small changes in our behavior, our surroundings and our relationships that can help set us on course for a happier life.” ― The New York Times Guide to Happiness, How to be Happy
Rib Review
Stubby’s BBQ in Hot Springs, Arkansas doesn’t disappoint. It’s a humble joint with not very much seating. The emphasis is clearly not on ambience, but on the quality of their food. While I only had ribs once in April, these were really good. They were tender with no need for sauce (it was oddly too sweet for my taste, anyway). I really like coleslaw, and theirs was quite good. It’s mayonaise based, but not terribly sweet.
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